The Writer’s Voice #175 out of 175 – whew!

I  am thrilled to get to be a part of this contest! Thanks to the addition of 25 more slots, and by the skin of my teeth, I made it!! YAY!

Query Plot Summary for The Near Fall:

If George Konvolinka doesn’t get a wrestling scholarship, he’ll end up bussing tables at Mr. Greek, his family’s restaurant, and worse, living with his parents. Which would be intolerable even if his mother didn’t dress like a teenaged skank, and his father didn’t throw chairs at the matches.

His sister Dorrie made it out of Waterboro unscathed (he thinks), and George is on track to do the same. But the new surfer-dude dishwasher that George recruited for the team, Clive Duval, turns out to be a former state champion, and wants George’s spot.

When his mother amps up her flirting with Clive, George becomes a head case on the mat. It doesn’t help that the coach is on Clive’s side, and that Erin Breedlove, the team manager, has breasts he can detect under her baggy sweatshirt.

At Thanksgiving, Dorrie comes home thirty pounds thinner and his mom is thrilled she’s a size zero, whatever the f*** that is. But when George hears his sister throwing up in their Jack and Jill bathroom, he knows something is wrong.

Her timing couldn’t be worse. Dorrie has a heart attack, caused by an eating disorder, right before the State Tournament, and George must decide between wrestling for his scholarship, and supporting her during Family Week at her rehab center.

First 250 Words

I have thirty seconds. My thighs are on fire, but I crouch low to the mat and circle him, moving in and out quickly. I shoot in and grab his leg, then explode up through his body. Again. And again.

Sweat streams into my eyes, but I couldn’t see him clearly even if he was really there. I watch him, my imaginary opponent, as Three Doors Down plays Kryptonite in the corner of the gym.  If I go crazy now will you still call me Superman?  I check the clock and go again. I’m on my two hundredth shot when I feel a jolt of electricity right behind my elbow. I lose my balance, and stumble in the middle of the take down. I look at my time; 199 take downs in twenty minutes. I failed.

She should have warned me. Made a noise. Stomped her fucking Eskimo boots. Something. She’s lucky I didn’t jab her in the eyeball.

“What?”

Erin Breedlove taps her ear, and I take my ear buds out. I don’t know what to say. I should have said something earlier, back last spring when it happened. Her sister OD’ed and woke up dead. Or didn’t wake up at all, rather. Heroin. I don’t bring it up.

“What?”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I just wanted to let you know I’m here. Didn’t want to freak you out if you saw me in the office.” She jerks her head toward the little glassed-in room in the corner of the gym.

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38 Responses to The Writer’s Voice #175 out of 175 – whew!

  1. Kristen says:

    Yaay for you making it under the wire! Good luck– I’m #147–didn’t manage to delete the http from my name but whatever. I’m in!

  2. Rena says:

    Congrats on making it in!.

  3. Suzi says:

    I love contemporary with male pov–nice to see it. Good luck.

  4. Way to make it in under the wire; congratulations and good luck!

  5. That opening line really catches attention and ups the stakes. Nicely done! Good luck!

  6. Marieke says:

    Great concept 🙂 Good luck!

  7. K.L. Layton says:

    Good Luck!

  8. sfhenson says:

    This is great, and it’s refreshing to see a YA with a male MC. Good luck!

    -Sarah #146

  9. hollycagney says:

    Another TN girl in the house! Woot! I’m in Knoxville, and love Chattanooga! Good luck!

  10. Amalia T. says:

    Nice to see a male point of view, for sure! Good luck!

  11. aewelch says:

    Good luck in the contest!

  12. C.G.Ayling says:

    Lots of hints about what is coming – drama, romance and bad choices made by good people makes for an interesting read. Good luck!

  13. C.G.Ayling says:

    Drama, romance, bad choices made by good people… makes for interesting reading. Good luck!

  14. Dani Nau says:

    I like the conflict in your story. Good luck in the contest!

  15. tbrosz says:

    Some good writing here, and not just your story. Getting in under the wire was lucky, but if you win it won’t be luck.

  16. Summer says:

    Congrats and good luck!!

    Summer #40

  17. Hi Ferris, I’m visiting your blog from the Writer’s Voice Contest (entry #58), and I wanted to wish you the best of luck! Nice to meet you.

  18. Becca says:

    Love the voice – in both the query and the excerpt. Good luck!

  19. nicolezoltack says:

    Good luck!

    ~Nicole, entry 68

  20. Best of luck, Ferris! 🙂

  21. C. Yaeger says:

    I love the opening, him fighting his invisible opponent 🙂 really nice writing! Good luck – the contest isn’t over yet!

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